The Wrath of the Homosexual Dwarf
by NutMegg
Summary: <html><head></head>Drabble, pretty basic. I've had this idea bouncing around for a while, but I finally had some free time, so.. Here it is!</html>


It wasn't so much love at first sight as it was.. fascination.

David knew, from the moment he saw her, that this girl was special.

The way she moved, the way her hips swung, tiny motions from side to side as she walked. The way the tiny pink tongue flicked out to moisten chapsticked lips. The way she lifted her sunglasses to admire the clothes that hung on the racks. The way she didn't even need to try them on, portraying only the utmost confidence in striding to the counter with the clothes and paying without a second thought. The way the near black curls hung down her back, and the dark eyebrows arched over her sunglasses. The way the brown eyes flicked from side to side the moment she stepped into a store.

He was infatuated.

He didn't know her name.

He hadn't exactly been stalking her, per se, but he had gone in the general direction that he had to, just with a few more stops than he had anticipated. He was going to meet Wes in a coffee shop down the road, but this girl, damn! She had to stop at every store, spend time admiring every shirt and piece of jewelry, every shoe, every perfume sample.

But he loved it.

He'd texted Wes to tell him that he had to cancel, and Wes, as expected, wasn't fazed. (David tended to get distracted a lot.)

So he followed the girl for a few hours.

Then, the inevitable.

He got caught.

"What do you think you are doing?" She asked, the lips parting to reveal perfect white teeth and mint-scented breath. He looked around for a moment, wondering if she was actually talking to him.

"Me?" He feigned surprise.

"Of course." She said, as if it should have been the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'm shopping, of course." He said, holding up a bag from a store that he couldn't remember, that held a perfume he couldn't pronounce.

"And why exactly are you shopping for," She grabbed the bag, and looked inside. "fleur de lys perfume?"

"Uhm.. My…Sister." He offered lamely. She looked at him skeptically for a moment, then gave up.

"Sure, I'll play along." She said, offering him her hand. "I'm Jade."

"David." He said, shaking firmly, basking in the feeling of her warm hand in his.

"So, before you started following me," She turned and began walking next to him, heading toward the coffee shop where Wes and David were supposed to meet. "What were you doing here?"

"I was going to meet a friend." He said, gesturing toward the sign, which showed a mug with an unrealistic amount of steam rising out of it.

"A girlfriend?" Jade asked, raising one eyebrow. He chuckled.

"No, just.. a friend."

"Are you gay?" She stated blatantly. He stopped walking and turned toward her in shock. "What?"

"I'm not gay." He stated, but retained a bit of his anger. He was very defensive about Blaine and Kurt, after all.

"Good." She said, smiling in his direction.

"Why?" He asked, jogging to keep up with her and pulling at her elbow to get her to stop walking. "Do you have a problem with people that are?"

"God no! My brother is. He just got his first boyfriend, and I'm ecstatic." She said, as if offended by the prospect.

"Good." David said, relieved, then the second part of her sentence hit him. "Wait..What was that?"

"I'm not offended by gay people?" She said, stopping and staring at him as though he were insane. Which, after all, he WAS David…

"No, no. The second part."

"My twin brother is. He just got his first boyfriend?" She said, still staring dubiously.

"What's your last name?" He asked, his brows furrowing.

"Anderson."

"Shit."

"Wes. I have a problem." David strode dramatically into the dorm, throwing himself down on the bed and sighing self righteously.

"Yes, David?" Wes rolled his eyes and continued to furiously type into what looked suspiciously like the Google search bar.

"Listen to me!" David insisted. Wes sighed, shut his laptop, turned around his desk chair so that he faced his best friend head on, and assumed his Dr. Phil pose.

"I'm listening." He said, touching the tips of his fingers together and pushing a pair of imaginary glasses up his nose.

"I'm having girl problems."

"How so?"

"I may or may not have just chatted up a sibling, of the twin variety, with one of our closest homosexual friends." David groaned into his pillow.

"I didn't know Kurt had a sister…" Wes speculated seriously.

David groaned louder.

"Blaine. Blaine. BLAINE. Has a supermegafoxyawesomehot twin named Jade."

"…This information I did not know!" Wes leaned forward in his chair, enthralled now that there was some drama in the story.

"Yeah. Wells, she's adorable. Like, amazing. And she also smells really good. Like, REALLY GOOD. And she knows FRENCH. The language. But I'll bet she knows the other French too!" David rambled.

"But, there's the problem of telling Blaine that you love his sister." Wes said, closing his eyes as he pictured the wrath of the homosexual dwarf. He winced. "Ouch. That won't be pretty."

"You think I don't know that?"

"Blaine, I love and plan on marrying your sister." David practiced, staring at his reflection in the fogged mirror. He flashed smile number thirty eight, 'Please forgive me, I didn't mean to cause trouble.' Usually that one was reserved just for teachers and administration, but this was a special occasion. It was three weeks later, David and Jade had gone on six dates, and each had been more amazing than the last. They'd gotten to know each other so well, and there was only one thing that David kept a secret-that he roomed with her brother.

"Blaine, I'm dating your sister." He shook his head, too forward. He'd been at this for half an hour, and it wasn't getting any easier.

"Blaine, I've been seeing your sister for three weeks! She's amazing!" He sighed.

"Blaine, why didn't you tell me you had a sister?" He asked his reflection conversationally, then shook his head again. He hung his head for a moment in defeat, then adjusted the towel around his waist. He opened the bathroom door and came face to face with-

Blaine, fist raised as if about to knock on the door.

His eyes, chocolate brown, the same as Jades, were open in shock as he stared straight into the face of his friend. He was wearing the look of extreme understanding that could only be defined by the fact that he had heard everything that David just said. David just stared back.

For a few minutes, as the expression on Blaine's face got more and more constipated looking, David geared himself toward pain, then…

"If I didn't have to pee so bad, I would kick your ass from here to Paris for not telling me sooner." Blaine pushed him rather forcefully to the side.

"Does this mean I can still date her?" David called through the bathroom door.

"Only if you get your ass out of here before I'm done with my business in here. Its our anniversary and Kurt's coming over." Blaine cackled evilly through the door. His speed-pee's were well known throughout the school.

But when the bathroom door opened, a record twenty three seconds later, David was gone, the faint perfume of lilies and fear hovering in the air.


End file.
